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Easier done than sad
2011-04-04 10:22:56
When you're angry at someone or feeling down because of how something turns out you might have some people around you that will try to make you feel better by telling you that in 5 years you won't even remember this. This might make you feel better because it's a pretty decent piece of advice and we sometimes do tend to get really mad about the weirdest things. But not once in my life has someone tried to ask me this when I was about to make an important decision.
Let's say you saved some money to buy a car and you go to the dealer to pay for it. Once you arrive you see the new model you had your eyes on has just arrived. Now you have to decide between the model you came in to buy and the remorse you couldn't afford the better one or your dream-car and a conflict with your spouse. My advice would be to take the dream-car, because in 5 years the conflict would be long gone and you'll have had enjoyed the fulfillment of your heart's desire.
Life is quite short and often times people make a decision based on how it will affect the others only to hold a grudge or to burst out at the person they feel is responsible for their unhappiness. The really sad part is that 5 years from now your resentment for not being able to do the thing you wanted will be far greater than the anger your spouse would have had if you actually did that thing. If presented with the choice (5 year resentment vs. the car) it's quite possible (and extremely logical) they'll tell you to "buy the freaking car if you want it so much you're willing to keep this against me for this long".
I hope I've shed some light on the post's title and by now you no longer think it's a typo :)
2011-04-04 12:51:04
5 year grudge... sounds familiar.
Some people hold life time grudges. The advice you give in your writing is good I think, but unfortunately, when people take this road, they become incorrigibly self-centered and inconsiderate toward the others.
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